Welcome back to the weird and wonderful world of anti-marketing!

Me in Norway, looking very cool indeed. Shades of Sean Bean and Kit Harrington, I know!

Yes, I know, it's been a very long time indeed since my last post. Sorry. No excuses except chronic laziness and lack of willpower. So no, it's not because the world has suddenly decided to clean up its marketing act and be sensible. Not a chance of that I'm afraid, it's as daft and cock-eyed as ever. You'll be delighted to read that I have been gathering another swathe of madness that goes as slick marketing and which is smeared all over our streets. And, you'll also be relieved to read that I still plan to finish the epic task off my Z-A of Anti-Marketing, based on my million dollar bestseller - The Anti-Marketeer's Handbook (Director's Cut) which has swept the globe and is now published in fifteen languages, including Vietnamese, and is available at all excellent booksellers.

Right, now that the anti-sell is over, let's get down to business with a selection of beauties gleaned from my various holidays (Portugal mainly) over the past 12 months or so. Let's start with a real cracker. Condoms are always excellent pastures for the anti-marketeer looking for a good laugh. What about this brand from the Algarve in southern Portugal? It's not just the name which could act as a passion-killer in certain circumstances, but also the slightly confusing tagline of FEEL MAKE FEEL which is both brilliant and terrible at the same time.

And now we drift very left-field with this offering, again from the Algarve. It's here just because of its shock value, nothing more. And it shows that Britain is either well behind the times or far ahead, depending on your age and inclination (probably). I'll have a brace of Pink Panthers, please, man...

And from the ridiculous to the sublime, this notice at our hotel in Tenerife on the Canaries. It's as bizarre as a notice goes and is probably nothing to do marketing at all, but I couldn't resist including it here because of its bleak madness (especially said loudly in German). I would be amazed if any of you out there manage to guess the context where this just might be acceptable and logical.

A little light comedy now. On a shop front in Albufeira in the Algarve. I just love the whole thing which includes the cartoon fish, which crucially don't have feet. But... but... but, if I ever need a foot massage I will hotfoot to Mister Fixe and Garra Rufa (what or whoever that may be) because he or it made me laugh.

And finally, Birmingham Airport duty-free lounge should have the last say today. I was perusing the electronic hardware on offer in a shop in the departures lounge and was drawn to this unbeatable bargain on a detachable camera lens.

Oh yes, the insanity still is out there, very much alive and kicking.