Nearing the End!

I got up yesterday and got run over by a bike.

Right outside my house. Pranged by a bloke who was speeding down the pavement like it was the Tour de France. Knocked me back into my garden as well. And didn't even stop. Just pedalled on...

Just another day of the pandemic. A day which promised so much. It was sunny as well. Bright, lovely, warm and full of early summer. Then I discovered I was out of milk and bananas - vital ingredients in getting the day off to a flyer. So, out (via the pranging) to the shops. I went to Petts Wood, making sure my face mask was in place as I boarded the 208. The bus driver wasn't wearing one, of course, but she was probably immune, because she drives a bus.

Then came the announcement: 'Wear a face mask! Don't stand!' I sat and watched a bloke nibbling his finger nails, while standing by the door without a mask on. Probably immune as well I thought - an off-duty driver, perhaps.

I got to Petts Wood and got off the bus... straight into the handlebars of another bike. He stopped this time to tell me to 'eff off'. Then he sped away. Oh well, maybe it was my fault for getting off the bus so quickly.

Into Morrison's after 20 minutes of queueing, trying to keep 2 metres away from the couple behind me who were coughing down my back. Oh well, it's only my back, I thought. Can't catch a bug there, so, not a problem.

Into Morrison's and no bananas.

Out of Morrison's...

and... you guessed it. Panged by another bike zooming down the pavement. Never mind, I thought again. Rules don't apply during the pandemic. You can do anything you want really.

I waited another 20 minutes for a bus home, injured, hungry but still optimistic. The sun was still shining and the sky was really blue.

The bus was empty this time, which was nice. Things were looking up.

I got off at my stop and another cyclist speeds by, but I'm quicker this time. Natural selection was kicking in. I was learning fast. I jumped onto the road to avoid being hit. Ha Ha! I thought. Fooled you this time. I even took a photo of him. Then he stopped, came back and asked me if I took a picture of him. I said yes and the reason. He told me to 'eff off'. The he pedalled away, somehow giving me the finger and texting a mate at the same time. Maybe cyclists have three arms I thought.

The evening came along and I settled down to the big match of the season - the one everyone would be tuned into. The League Two Play-Off semi-final first leg between my team and my brother's. A local family derby. Northampton v Cheltenham.

Three Doombars and two goals later and I had my head in my hands.

"You deserved a draw," said my brother, making it so much worse.

I turned the computer off and went downstairs with one last task of the day - to put the rubbish out.

As I dragged the wheelibin into place (you know what's coming)

......and he then told me to 'eff off', of course.

Roll on tomorrow and I'm buying elbow protectors and a helmet for walking on the pavement. But I'm still smiling. It's just the way of things in this brave new world.

And for those of you who think I'm prone to exaggeration... here's the proof. From the camera of a sad old pedestrian who should know better. Please note the empty roads and the unused bike lane in the first picture. But hey ho.... live and let live.