Here we go again!
- Adrian Liley
- Jan 6, 2020
- 2 min read
And so another year gets underway.
Hello 2020! Welcome to the madness!
OK... just looking back for a moment, I'm not sure what 2019 will be remembered for - maybe that we got through it all without destroying ourselves... just yet.
For me... on a very personal level - the year ended eating overpriced food which tasted as bad as it looked. Slugs on rice from Yo-Sushi and wall grouting from Cafe Rouge at top-end prices. Incidentally, that wall grouting deserves further mention - it went as risotto on the menu, but did not mention that it was a new kind of risotto - a deconstructed type, minus cheese and virtually anything else - a vegan risotto! Which basically meant it was just a bowl of rice, fried in butter, a few rubber mushrooms with some stringy greens scattered on the top. The slugs speak for themselves - they probably could, too!
Then there was the Christmas present hunting. I ended up getting a thing called 'Turing Tumble' for one of the little ones in the Liley clan - a glorified marble-drop which sold as a primitive computer, hence the Turing addition. A snip at £75. Educationally expensive and nearly fun, but not quite. I also got a 'Kevin the Carrot' Ludo game, which is brilliant because there are no rules! Cheap too... and forget the education. And finally... yes, there's more... a wonderful version of Monopoly, which accepts that most young people are doomed to a life of poverty. Just look at the game's sad strap-line: 'Forget real estate - you won't be able to afford it anyway! ' A brilliant present for youngsters without a hope in hell in this postmodern age!
As for the oldies with all the money... well, it was the usual. Wall-to-wall telly and oceans of drink. See below for the proof... not much to add to that, except that my two locals have stopped serving beer. Yes, that's right. Stopped serving beer. Pubs that don't sell beer. Two of them. Both near my house. Just lager, cider and stuff from bottles. Apparently, young people don't drink beer - it's not cool anymore. Beer is for old people without any hope... but with wads of money!
So there you have it... into January and we can eat slugs, dried rice, not drink beer, play Millenniums' Monopoly and... settle back to watch semi-famous people sing appallingly on telly on Saturday evenings dressed up as bumble-bees and butterflies... or watch Bradley Walsh and Richard Osman in every single game show from 7 till midnight.
A wonderful 2020 beckons - a year where the unstoppable twin force of Greta and Dr Who will save us all from the forces of evil!
Woo hoo! I can't wait. I really can't...
Rant over....
Time to sink back into my goblin king's chair and watch it all slowly go to hell-in-a-handcart... despite being hungry, beer-less, brain-dead, but happily, not quite penniless yet, although the government is working on that!
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