Black Friday Madness

Here we go again. Another ridiculous day when the country goes crazy... over nothing. I always hate Black Friday - a really silly import from the USA, which has no bearing on anything in the UK. At least in America, Black Friday has some relevance, being the day after Thanksgiving. It's a time of celebration. But we don't do Thanksgiving here - it's not in our calendar. We do have own crazy day - Boxing Day. That's the traditional day when British people go to the shops and fight one another over a box of plasma. And then there's the New Year sales. Haven't we got enough of these mega amazing sales? Why chuck Black Friday into the mix?

I'll tell you why. Because it's a great way for retailers to offload old stock onto a gullible public in November - the stuff that was going to be taken off the shelves anyway before Christmas. Just slap a '30% off' sticker onto the package and away we go. Let the madness begin.

Ironically, some expert on the telly said today that 80% of all the Black Friday mega deals are available at those amazing prices throughout the year, if you hunt around. So, actually you're not getting a bargain at all.

It gets worse. My own industry, English language schools in the UK, have started getting into the swing of Black Friday too... because they sniff a possible sale, of course. I know times are not very good for schools at the moment, but resorting to this sort of frenzied, chaotic madness just might not be the best way to sell an English language course.

OK... before I get carried away, I know that schools have to make a pound, whenever they can. As I said, pickings are slim. But just massive discounting? That's daft marketing. No brain marketing. Desperate marketing. Silly marketing. It's a case of: "We don't know how to get more students, so let's drop the prices even more. Then they'll come. They have to. It's virtually free now!"

Take this morning.... I received a glut of emails which screamed BARGAIN BARGAIN BARGAIN at me. I have my own agency now, so schools want my students. Want them badly....

One school offered me 40% on all English courses immediately! I was staggered. But. Yes, there's a but. A rather big one too. In small writing under the big bold offer was written: 'only available if courses start in January and last for 8 weeks maximum.'

Ah-ha. Not so silly after all. Schools are shrewder than I gave them credit. The old small print. Gets me every time, because I never usually read it. Who's silly now?

Another school offered me a FREE English and Surfing course. Wow. I would love that for my students.

Ahhh...

'Only available if taken in February and March.'

Mmmmm. That will be a bit chilly, even if wet suits are provided.

Another arrived: 20% discount off all groups in addition to the usual commission! Another wow.

Ahhh...

'Applicable for groups travelling before February, 2019 and for a booking of minimum £5,000. Accommodation and excursions not included.'

Ahhh...

And then came the best one... Black Friday and Christmas offer - (another wow). These amazing marketing people were rolling two sales opportunities into one very big, fat offer. Very clever. So... where's the catch?

50% on ALL our residential accommodation over the Christmas period. My goodness, I thought... now that is a bargain.... I read on.

'Only applicable when you check-in before December 10th.'

Ahhh...

I hate Black Friday!

And now we can all look forward to Cyber Monday!

Yippee.