This had to be written!

I've been holding off writing about this tricky little subject for some time. But today is the day that I unload some of my angst onto all of you! Incidentally, the picture above is of me staring at a poster of some poor tortured soul, by Edward Munch, outside a gallery in Oslo. It sorts of sums up my current mood.

Now, language schools mostly have great websites (and brochures), which do the job in a variety of ways. I just want to get that out the way before I get my axe out.

BUT... and this is a big BUT, since starting my own little company a year ago, I have been communicating with students from all over the world and... trying to answer just one question about school websites.

So, here it is. Nearly all school sites are are totally incomprehensible to all but the most advanced student. Forget the beginners and elementary students - they're totally at sea when plodding through website information. Even the Intermediates have their issues.

I know that schools are mostly very proud of their sites (and rightly so), but the the one large fly in the ointment is that they are not aimed at the student who wants to learn English. Many are crammed with long meandering paragraphs, describing courses to the 'n'th degree and using confusing idioms and long, complicated obscure words.

It is as if the writers of these sites are really aiming the site at picky school owners or the entire teaching staff. Certainly, most sites are academically brilliant and explain everything wonderfully if you are fluent in English.

OK... so what am I talking about here? Let's grab the bull by the horns and throw the paddle up a gum tree!

BESPOKE. Let's have a wrestle with this one . It had to be this one first. You all use it. You know you do. It seems to be the twenty-first century default word for describing almost any course. I've even read this on one site: 'We offer BESPOKE and TAILOR-MADE courses to SUIT all needs.' BINGO! The unholy trinity all in one sentence! What is it with the tailoring industry? You all seem to love it at the moment. And I know you don't mean it. After all, if courses were all bespoke, then you'd be teaching one-to-ones from dawn to dusk. A Taiwanese student (among many others) texted me about this. He genuinely thought a school was offering an English Plus course in the tailoring industry and even more bizarrely, he wanted it!

I've seen DECEPTIVELY SPACIOUS shared homestay rooms; schools that tell their prospective beginners that they have a HOLISTIC approach in their BOUTIQUE school. Can you imagine what a Peruvian elementary student would make of all that? He'd probably think classes are taught in small shops with lots of holes in.

Oh yes, there's more. A Turkish parent nervously asked me what a HANDS-ON practice session was all about, on a summer junior courses for his eleven-year-old daughter. I blabbed out something which was meant to reassure him, but probably made it a lot worse. Then there have been questions on courses that are ACTION-PACKED - that was from a worried German with asthma. He was further intrigued by the school wanting to CRYSTALIZE his GOALS. I was completely at a loss how to reply that - and very nearly had an asthma fit myself.

A Japanese student wanted to know why a school was giving him a DYNAMICALLY-PRICED course and a VIBRANT social activity programme.

And finally, one site was offering REAL ENGLISH classes. Several students emailed us wanting to know what all the others were offering, if this was the only school with real English!

Now, I'm not complaining about language schools' sites and the language used. I'm just saying that the writers should put themselves into the shoes of a nervous elementary Chinese or Mexican student wanting to visit England for the first time. And please, make sentences shorter and in bigger FONT. Better still, just fill your sites with pretty pictures and prices... and leave it at that!

Incidentally, such is the need for an interpretation service, we even put a page up on our site which tries hard to explain all to confused and bewildered students, trying to work out if they really want a CUTTING-EDGE OCTORIAL or a QUATORIAL in a STATE-OF-THE-ART and PICTURESQUE school. Aaaaaaaagh!

OK... have an action-packed, vibrant, holistic, award-winning and extremely en-suite, Halloween everyone!

Here's our glossary, which we are continually adding to...

https://supercourses.co.uk/blog/advice/glossary/